It’s been a while since fans saw Twitch streamer iGumdrop go back to her regular streaming schedule.
Jaime “iGumdrop Horan has long since apologized after allegedly racially stereotyping a random black man in an IRL livestream back in June of 2019.
While walking down the street with a friend, the pair passed an African-American man on the sidewalk. Her friend took off running shortly after, telling the streamer to “hold your purse”.
Horan followed the example set by her friend, running behind and laughing about it.
The clip sparked controversy and gathered the attention of online communities.
Appropriately so, the pair was condemned for their “racist” behavior, more so to iGumdrop since she streams to a wide audience regularly.
She has since then apologized in an emotional stream from last year, saying:
“I really fucked up, I don’t know why I did that. I just did.”
“Anybody who I hurt through that clip – if I watch that clip myself I would have been so hurt by it. There’s not really an excuse for my actions and I don’t want people to defend me for it because I’m just sorry.”
Horan also wanted to treat the incident as a significant learning experience.
Since then, the Twitch streamer’s activities fell short of her regular schedule.
Perhaps feeling the need to explain her side of the story, the Twitch starlet took it to a recent Twitlonger post to explain her inconsistent activity:
“for the past 6 months i haven’t been streaming much… the reason being is i have really bad anxiety attacks right before i stream where i can’t control my shaking, crying and self-destructive behavior. i become filled with feelings of guilt and shame… “
Although fans and her family have been supportive, the starlet noted how she felt extremely guilty and ashamed of herself once more only a few months after the incident.
“there wasn’t a day that went by where i didn’t beat myself up for what i did. i lost all my confidence… “
Horan has also decided to go to therapy to manage her self-destructive behavior, rooted in the trauma and backlash she faced after the incident. In an attempt to become a better streamer and an influencer, she’s working hard to avoid unjust discrimination in the future.
“i miss my community a ton. i’m just scared that my words or actions will hurt people once i go live, and i never want to ever make someone feel that way ever again.”
Fans and her fellow content creators Fedmyster, Valkyrae, and Pokimane have been supportive in Horan’s honesty to explain her situation.
The starlet boldly opened up to a crowd she was not indebted an explanation to, especially after asking sincere apologies from last year.
“Hey maybe you should try to do some good actions like volunteering Somewhere or anything like that instead of gym or therapy. Thats more how to deserve forgivness for me”
“I Deadass didn’t see the racist part of that whole thing just the joke side so I never knew people were so bothered by it that’s unexpected.”
“This was an emotional read. I know what you going through homie, always here for you❤️”